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2003's Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone? is the third and final album from Montreal, Quebec band The Unicorns. The release features 13 tracks deeply rooted in careful songwriting and lo-fi pop experimentalism. The Unicorns had a gift for blending a morbid sense of humor with irresistible pop melodies caked with beautiful vocals employing thoughtful, near-sacred lyrics. The recording opens with "I Don't Wanna Die," a plea to the makers of the universe to "grant me one more breath," setting the tone for the overall theme of the album. "Tuff Ghost" takes the intensity up a notch with The Unicorns' attempt to cash in on the disco punk sound.
"Ghost Mountain" is a lyrical tale of colonialism blanketed in a taut metaphor of one journey to the top of a haunted mountain. Completing the ghost trilogy, "Sea Ghost," a pithy pop tune in the purest form, will stick with you for days, eating at your insides and turning your skin green, not unlike a parasite attached to your leg at the bottom of the ocean. In terms of sonorous diseases, "Jellybones" is maybe the most infectious pop tune on the record, ending too soon, but sticking around so long. Analog synthesizers never sounded this good. But suddenly, the smoking urgency of "The Clap" re-awakens the unsettling undercurrent of the album, in a wiry, unforgiving 1:25.
The band's sing-along Motown-inspired "I Was Born a Unicorn" serves as the band's confrontational anthem, flatly asking: 'Are you a believer?' "Tuff Luff's" hook comes in the form of a penny whistle, but the impact remains in the wry critical observations of U.S. foreign policy. And then, just as you've embraced the Unicorns as your favorite band... it's over, sharply abrupt and sad (like slipping off a cliff to one's demise) with "Ready to Die," a naive dirge, relenting to the unavoidable reality of mortality.